Young People

What is Domestic Abuse?

 

Domestic abuse is when one grown-up hurts or bullies another grown-up who is or was their partner, or who is in the same family. Domestic abuse can happen between people who are boyfriend and girlfriend or who are married.

It can happen when people live together or in different houses. Usually (but not always) it is the man who hurts the woman. Although domestic abuse happens between grown-ups, children can be affected by the abuse that they see and hear. Children can also be hurt or bullied as part of domestic abuse.

 

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"Daddy pushing Mummy" Childrens lego story, aged 5

 

In all relationships there are ups and downs. There can sometimes be arguments or even fighting and saying things that are hurtful. When most grownups have an argument, they can talk it through and eventually become friends again.

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The difference with domestic abuse is that it is about one person trying to control another person who is their partner or ex-partner. It causes one person to live in constant fear of the other and it also doesn’t just happen once. It can get worse over time.

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When someone is being abusive it can feel like the argument never ends and that no matter what you (or Mum) do, they will still be angry and frightening. No-one should be made to feel frightened or stupid by someone else, especially in your own home.

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"I got up because I was hearing shouting. Daddy was swearing. I went back to bed. I went to sleep when the shouting finished".

 

If this is happening in your family, remember that you are not alone.

Domestic abuse happens in many families and there are people that can help you and your family.

 

Everyone has the right to be and feel safe.

 

What help is there for you & your family?

 

This video shows how a brother and sister plan to stay safe when they experience 'shouting & hurting' in their home

 

If abuse is at happening at home, you probably want it to stop but you might not be sure what you can do. The first thing is to tell a trusted adult what is going on e.g. a teacher, a neighbour, a friend or a friend’s parent.

 

If you live in East Dunbartonshire you can call or text Claire,

our Children & Young Person’s Outreach Worker on

 

07929 754 752

 

or email her at

edwomensaid@aol.co.uk

 

You can also call Childline – 0800 1111

If there is fighting, should I try to stop it?

 

If there’s violence in your home, it’s important that you stay safe when there’s a fight. Sometimes you might feel like you have to stop the fight and protect the parent who’s being hurt. This can be very dangerous and puts you at risk of getting hurt yourself.

If you are scared when there is a fight, you can always call 999 and ask for the police – they will come to your house at any time of the day.

It’s helpful if you can tell a friend or grown-up you trust about the abuse at home. This way, if there’s an emergency you can phone them and they’ll know about what’s going on in your home.

 

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Websites

 

There are also lots of websites that might help. Some of these have been designed by children and young people who have experienced Domestic Abuse.

 

Remember you are not alone.

 

Childline - You can contact ChildLine about anything. No problem is too big or too small. Whatever your worry - http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

Website for young people made by young people who have experienced domestic abuse - http://www.thehideout.org.uk/default.aspa

UK Government website for young people giving information on abuse and sexual assault in relationships - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk

The Scottish Government website for young people - http://voiceagainstviolence.org.uk

The Safe Hub website is designed for young people by a group of young people who’ve all experienced domestic abuse and who know there can be a brighter future. - http://www.safehubscotland.org

LGBT Youth Scotland can provide help and advice if you’re an LGBT child or young person who is going through domestic abuse. - https://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk

 

Remember, domestic abuse is not your fault.

 

Everybody has the right to be safe

peace